literature

What's in a Name?

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Literature Text

Rating: PG-13
Warning: Some language, slight suggestive themes.
Summary: Wally and Dick are arguing over which sounds better: 'Wally Grayson' or 'Richard West', when Artemis and M'gann walk in on them. Confusion, dramatic proposals, and swooning Robins ensue. Wally/Dick bromance.

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{Mount Justice,
April 26, 06:19 p.m. EDT}



"Hey Rob? Which sounds better: Wally Grayson or Richard West?" Wally inquired out of the blue, looking up suddenly from the slightly crumpled paper he was scribbling on. He was sitting cross-legged on the floor of the Mount Justice living room, leaning against the couch. His chemistry notes were sprawled across the carpet as he wrote his lab report (which he had procrastinated on the last few weeks, and was now due the next day). Dick occupied the entire couch itself, one foot dangling down lazily and his hands propped behind his head. His eyes were closed behind the ever-present sunglasses as he dozed lightly, just keeping Wally company.

"Hmm?" the thirteen-year old blinked, glancing down at the red-head who had returned to scribbling away on his paper. His eyebrows furrowed slightly as he processed the question.

"Richard West, obviously," he answered after a short pause. Wally looked up questioningly. "It sounds way better than having a first name and a last name both with two syllables, like 'Wal-ly Gray-son'," he explained himself, enunciating the syllables.

"No, I beg to differ. Richard West just sounds… weird. Wally Grayson sounds so much better," Wally pointed a finger knowingly. Dick just snorted at this poor justification.  "Hey well, you're a hypocrite anyway. 'Rich-ard' and 'Gray-son' are two syllables too, you know," the speedster continued, poking Dick's leg. Batman's protégé frowned; Wally was right for once… but he wasn't going to let him know that.

"Well, Richard Grayson just sounds better than Wally Grayson. Besides, there are always exceptions to every rule."

"Yeah, but Wally Grayson sounds good too, no?"

"What's wrong with Richard West?" Dick countered. Wally stuck his tongue out at him in childish irritation, before another thought hit him. His eyes twinkled and he raised an eyebrow cockily.

"Okay, okay fine; Richard West is better. It's obvious you'd be the girl anyway and take my last name," Wally conceded, grinning mischievously. Dick turned to glare at him, tapping his fingers on his arm.

"I wasn't done. Richard West sounds best, but Dick West certainly does not. That just sounds…"

"Weird?" Wally supplied, chuckling. "Okay, I agree with that one. But that's no biggie- everyone will just have to call you Richard then."

"Dude, no way! No one is calling me Richard till I'm, like, thirty," he scoffed, running a hand absentmindedly through his black hair.

"Yeah, because you just are a Dick," Wally smirked. The ebony kicked him sharply in the head and the speedster yelped, rubbing his injury. "Ow… Rob, that was not necessary."

"Was too. I warned you; no dick jokes." He laughed.  Wally rolled his eyes and tapped something on his laptop which was lying open on the other side of him. He realized he did still have to finish this damn lab report, even if he would much rather sit here bickering with his best friend.  

"What about Wallace Grayson," Dick teased, determined to get back at him. "That has a nice ring to it." Wally threw him a shocked expression.

"No. Just… no. No-no-no."

"It'll look nice on the papers," argued Dick. Wally gave him his version of the Bat-glare, which really was rather pathetic to Dick's eyes, but the Boy Wonder capitulated nonetheless. "Fine. No Richard West, no Dick West, no Wally Grayson, and no Wallace Grayson. What is there left?"

"Hey, we never decided that Wally Grayson was out of the choices," Wally retorted indignantly. "And I still think Richard West sounds good too."

"Oh, and I'm the hypocrite? You just finished telling me that Richard West sounded 'weird'."

"Hey, a man can change his mind, you know!" Wally threw his hands up in the air and gave Dick a sheepish glance. The latter rolled his eyes, though with a certain fondness for his best friend. Deciding to drop the conversation, he leaned back into the pillows of the couch and stretched, suppressing a yawn. He really was tired; he'd hardly had any sleep the last few nights what with studying for midterms, patrolling with Batman, and the team's latest mission at the beginning of the week. He couldn't believe it was still only six-thirty… another three hours at least before he could go to bed. He listened vaguely to the tap-tap-tap as Wally's fingers flew over his keyboard. Suddenly a thought came to him and he sat up quickly, his fatigue forgotten.

"I know! What about Wally West-Grayson, and Dick West-Grayson? Hyphenated, you know?" he suggested. Wally raised his head to look at him again, eyes starting to twinkle.

"Yeah… yeah actually. I like that." He sat up straighter.  "That way, none of us would have to give up our current last names, and—"

"—none of us would be the 'girl'. Plus—"

"—they sound good, so—"

"—it's a perfect compromise." Dick finished.

They exchanged a glance and then collapsed in a fit of laughter at how cheesy it was that they were finishing each other's sentences now. Dick reached down and they exchanged a brofist.

"Dick and Wally West-Grayson it is," the red-head concluded, and they grinned at each other. A slight cough from behind them made the two boys look up. Artemis was staring at them from the door to the hall with a raised eyebrow and M'gann stood behind her, a bemused expression on her face. Wally frowned in irritation and Dick rubbed his arm self-consciously.

"How long have you been there?" said Wally in an accusing tone of voice. Artemis just smirked, unfazed.

"Long enough. Do you two have anything… you want to share?" She strode over to them and leaned casually on the back of the couch. Dick sat up to be at her eye-level, and grinned.

"Nope, what makes you say that?" he replied cheekily.

"Well… you were just kind of planning your wedding names…" M'gann answered for her, a mixture of confusion and amusement audible in her voice. She joined Artemis at the couch and the two girls eyed them expectantly.

"Bro talk, girls, you wouldn't understand," Wally snarked.

Wally and Dick then exchanged a mischievous glance, simultaneously coming up with an idea to befuddle and amuse their two teammates further. Wally stood up, scattering forgotten chemistry notes as he did so, before dropping to one knee before Dick. He held out his palms together, holding up an imaginary ring, and closed his eyes.

"Oh Robin, my lovely maiden, will you marry me? I shall carry you off into the sunset on my trusty steed, and we shall live the rest of eternity happily ever after!" Wally clutched at his heart dramatically, while Dick made some strangled noise which sounded suspiciously like a barely-suppressed laugh.  He took the invisible ring from Wally's hand before swaying in place, gasping melodramatically. He threw a hand up to his forehead.

"Oh my dearest Wally, yes, a thousand times, yes! " he cried, clasping his hands before him. Suddenly he swooned, falling gracefully into the speedster's arms in an apparently dead-faint. Wally scooped him up bridal style, winking at Artemis and M'gann who were staring at them with twin shocked expressions. He shot out of the living room in a blur of color. Robin's signature cackle followed them out.

The archer and the Martian gawked after them.

"Um… what just happened?" they heard Superboy's hesitant voice from the doorway. He was standing with a hand on the door, the white form of Wolf at his feet. Apparently he had just come in from walking his pet. Wolf cocked his head to the side, his confused expression matching his masters'.

M'gann and Artemis looked at each other, and shrugged.

"Honestly, I have no clue."

They turned simultaneously as Wally strode back into the kitchen, flinging open the fridge, with Dick trailing behind him.

"I thought we decided I wouldn't be the 'girl'," Dick was saying, crossing his arms with a scowl. Wally just pulled out a yogurt with a flourish, casting a glance over his shoulder to his three team-mates.

"Come on Rob, after I fuel up, we need to go ride off into the sunset and live happily ever after. Remember?"

"Oh, puh-lease. You have a chemistry paper to finish, remember?"
Crack fic, hope you like it. ^^

More like this on my FF.net account: [link]

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Fanfic (c) ~Robin-Red-R
Dick/Robin, Wally/KF, M'gann, Artemis, and Superboy (c) YJ DC
© 2012 - 2024 Robin-Red-R
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